Circle the Soul Softly by Davida Wills Hurwin

Author:Davida Wills Hurwin
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Array
Publisher: HarperCollins

Finals get closer and teacher tolerance shrinks in direct opposite proportion to the swell of student paranoia. Classes accelerate and expand, and there’s simply too much noise—in the yard, in the classroom, driving in the car. I’m having a hard time keeping track of what I’m supposed to do. I desperately need to avoid a public display of my recurring hallucination, and yet I can’t seem to keep my focus on anything. I start counting—cracks in the pavement, bricks on the wall, the number of lines in the hardwood floor, even the words in my reading assignment. It lets me concentrate on planning the next half hour and perpetuates the pretense that I’m still running my own life.

Which I clearly am not.

In brief rational moments, I give thanks for David’s Ivy League college dreams. He has AP bio, trig, Latin IV, Great Books, honors U.S. history—and SAT II’s—leaving no room to worry about anything else. He doesn’t notice I’ve completely stopped talking; he assumes I’m in the same boat as him.

But my boat has a leak. I’ve got an oar and I paddle frantically and constantly, but I don’t move out of my own tiny circle. I can’t see land in any direction; I can’t find the horizon; I don’t have a clue which way I’m supposed to go. I keep whirling around to try to catch sight of whatever’s chasing me, but I never quite see it. Meanwhile, I’m steadily sinking. And it’s still five weeks till summer.

I wonder if you know when you’re going insane.

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